The Slug in my Kitchen.

Sometimes I wish I had no heart. Really, truly. If I could just muster up the courage to be cold and heartless then I would be able to kill this thing: 

It's a slug. A nasty vile creature that is way to close to snake like for me not to squirm.

It has been living in my garage for months. I discovered it, and freaked. Then, I had words with the dog and the cat about earning their keep. They ignored me. I shut the door on the garage and decided we would live in peace as long as it kept out of my sight.

I told my assistant Ashley about it. She told me I could kill it by dousing it in salt. I contemplated it, but decided I couldn't. It moves slow. I am torn between feeling bad for it, and jumping up and down screaming at the top of my lungs.

Then, this morning at 5 a.m. I noticed it in my KITCHEN. Stupid vile thing. I can't touch it, or get near it (this picture was taken from the other side of my house with a high zoom lens.).

Dog sniffed and walked away from it. All my brothers are either sleeping or have already left for work. What in the world am I going to do? Fiona gets up at 6 and she will either freak or laugh hysterically at me for freaking.

I called my mother. She's a farm girl. She's on her way to fix the problem.

Never a dull moment in my farm town life.