I was slated to meet Dylan and David at 8:15 and so my day began with an extra sense of urgency to get Fiona fed, dressed, and out the door for school without an extra moment to spare. We had oatmeal with fried apples for breakfast. I was in a rush so I didn't finish mine.
Dylan, one of my dear friends and pseudo assistant, had arranged for me to take a tour of the Daily Bread facilities with his father David, who sits on their board.
Unbeknownst to me before the tour, the Daily Bread is in a highly heated battle with the City Council about expanding/moving their facilities. In fact, it was the day after an extremely intense council meeting that we were touring the facilities. The issue seems to be that the council, area business owners, and community surrounding the Daily Bread soup kitchen facility doesn't want the Daily Bread to expand operations in their neighborhood. The same is the case for the new location that they are looking at moving to. The council’s position is that there are drug dealers, prostitutes, and low-lifes attracted to such a facility and it decreases the safety and economic value of the area that it inhabits. A raid had been performed at the Daily Bread soup kitchen a few weeks prior in which swat teams rushed through the facility and arrested 9 drug dealers on the premises. Press cameras were in attendance and captured the entire ordeal for the 11:00 news.
At the council meeting videos of lewd sexual acts being performed by prostitutes and drug deals were shown, as well as the findings of the raid discussed in detail. The assumption made from the material provided was that "those people" were in the neighborhood because of the Daily Bread and therefore if the Daily Bread were allowed to expand it would increase such activity. Furthermore, the area on Sarno Road that the Daily Bread wants to move to would be in jeopardy of "invasion" by such people.
I was filled in on this information briefly by David prior to our tour for the sake of explaining that I might be walking into a situation of intense emotions by Daily Bread volunteers and employees (The organization is run by 500 volunteers and only 5 paid employees).
We started with the warehouse facilities which is where food is initially brought before being distributed to various charities and food pantries throughout Brevard County (there are about 30 that rely on the Daily Bread to stock their shelves). The operation was impressive to me: highly organized, smoothly run, and exceptionally clean. The volunteers were all too happy to explain to me how the process works. Different organizations pick up food from the facility and if there is an abundance or shortage the volunteers get on the phone to help get the food to the right place or solicit new donations. Here at the warehouse is where they coordinate with the chefs at the soup kitchen to decide what will be on the menu in the upcoming weeks based on what food is available and donations anticipated.
Our next stop was the soup kitchen facility and I can assure you that I was in no way prepared for what my eyes would see and heart would feel. When we pulled into the parking lot there were about a dozen or so people in the "yard" waiting for the one hot meal the kitchen provides on a daily basis, even though it wasn't to be served for a few more hours. My first thought was of my brothers and uncles and how they congregate in the kitchen around the table waiting for the women of my family to put the finishing touches on a meal at the holidays. As soon as I got out of my car I realized that this was no holiday because the overwhelming joy I associate with such was nowhere to be found.
As we made our way inside, Ed Welch, the assistant director, kindly took on the task of showing us through the different parts of the operation. The impact the prior night's council meeting had had on him was obvious. He seemed flustered, protective, and maybe even a little defensive - justifiably so considering those less fortunate that he felt so passionately about had come under such scrutiny without, what he felt, was ample enough opportunity to defend themselves.
He and David discussed the subject and Ed made some very valid points. He explained that he has no authority to arrest anyone and that signs are posted everywhere about unacceptable behaviors and consequences thereof (being banned). Furthermore, he has no authority over the sidewalk directly outside the premises and has often felt like his requests for help from the police have not been followed up with the sense of urgency they require. After all, as he pointed out, the ones that are a threat to the neighborhood are also a threat to the majority of the people that come to the soup kitchen with honest intentions. He feels that those he considers to be in his stead are at their most vulnerable and that they unfortunately make easy targets to those who would prey upon them. He also explained that some of the tapes that were shown at the city council meeting were not taped on the Daily Bread's premises and was at a loss at how to respond to accusations that the Daily Bread be held responsible for such crimes.
Through cramped quarters we made our way into the "hub" of the facility where volunteers could be found coordinating logistics and doing day to day tasks such as background checks on potential volunteers. We then saw the laundry and bathroom facilities, which combined were still smaller than my very modest guest bathroom. Ed explained that the showers are on a first-come, first-served basis and a set of clothing (shirt, shorts/pants, underwear, and socks) is provided if someone chooses to shower. When finished, their dirty laundry is washed then recycled back through for the next person in need. All of the clothing, travel size toiletry, female hygiene products, as well as blankets for when it gets cold are stored in an extremely small storage room next to the mail room.
The mail room in and of itself was something that made me stop and ponder the plight of the homeless. The facility offers a place where the homeless can have a mailing address, which is an obvious necessity once you think about trying to get a state I.D., receive Social Security benefits checks, VA benefits, or Disability with the address of "park bench #2."
As we moved through the small dining area I learned that each person must check in to eat and a small camera takes their picture so the next time they check in, their identity can be confirmed. This helps for the staff to keep banned people off the premises. Of course, I wonder how effective they are at getting people to leave with words as their only weapon and without the police there to back them up.
The previous day’s count of people served was listed behind the check-in desk and was nearly 300. It was explained to me that not all of the people that come here for a hot meal are homeless. Some are just barely on the fringe of being homeless and the one meal a day helps them keep from becoming such. The clients are also varied with the elderly, middle-aged, families, and even children coming through the line. As I absorbed all of this I thought about my unfinished breakfast and felt shame like I had never felt before.
Walking back toward my car at the end of the tour I made eye contact with a gentleman sitting alone at one of the tables. The gaze we held for a moment told of humiliation, heartbreak, remorse, regret, and sorrow. His eyes and the emotion they enveloped cut through me to make a resonating sound against my soul, because I had seen them before in my own reflection. I felt shame for the second time that day. Although I have never suffered from a drug problem, been homeless, and prostitution is definitely not becoming of me, I have visited the deep darkness of my own personal hell a time or two.
In spite of my past regrets, I stand where I am today not on my own accord, but because in my time of darkness a friend, a stranger, a family member put their hand in mine and helped me find my way. I felt shame that this man was not afforded that same right -the right to be treated with dignity and respect despite past transgressions.
The Daily Bread is not asking for us to condone criminal activity they are merely asking for us to see that we are all bound by the common strand of humanity. It is not your world or their world it is our world.
If you are one of the few people that have not felt the weight of sorrow, or the humiliation of defeat, if regret is an emotion you are not familiar with then I ask you to realize your blessings and not allow vanity to be the downfall of humankind. With your blessings you have a responsibility to reach your hand to those less fortunate.
Furthermore, if like me, you know what it feels like to have your confidence shaken and your faith falter, can you not see that you are best equipped to help another who has lost their way because you have been down those dimly lit roads of life?
