Being a vegetarian has been a major change to my world of food normalcy. With this change, has come a deeper look at how I view food. I have been examining the why of what I eat, the when of what I eat, and how of what I eat. If food was just for substance, than being a vegetarian wouldn't be a thing. So what are my ulterior motives and emotions behind food and the eating thereof?
To me food is a language that everyone speaks. We may all have our own dialect of flavors and styles but in the end we all need to eat, and the what and how of our food is a deep expression of self. The meals we enjoy together are a way of communing together where words aren't necessarily needed.
Today, Fiona and I had dinner (some would call it lunch, but it is Farmtown and here we have dinner) with grandma and grandpa. Gran called and said she was feeling better, and although it wasn't fancy, she had cooked and felt like she would enjoy the meal more if Fiona and I would join them. We graciously accepted this invitation, especially since she made creamed peas which is one of my favorite dishes.
During the meal a friend of Gran's stopped by unannounced to drop of a blanket she had quilted for her to take to chemo treatments. This was a reminder of the angelic voices singing softly in background calling grandma home. However, that sad realization was put on the background as we ate. We just enjoyed the moment, the being together. We were thankful, and our meal was a voicing of such. Grandma was well enough to cook, and our meal was an expression of her ability to live. She didn't cook meat but had she.. I would have eaten it. All rules, all dedication to vegetarianism, it all would have meant nothing. I would have eaten the meat to commune.
I guess I found my ulterior motives surrounding food. I cook for self expression, I eat with others to connect with them. I am not meant to be a vegetarian because I don't want to have limitations on the culinary dialects I can enjoy or experience. However, for 5 more days I will wallow in the language of vegetarianism.
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